Values do not age; it is our understanding of them that grows old, until we burden them with customs that are not theirs, hiding their light while believing we are protecting them.

The problem is not always the absence of values, for great values are not erased by time. Rather, it is what accumulates around them—customs—until the image becomes stronger than meaning, and appearance takes precedence over essence.

Man creates his customs to help him in life, then over time he grants them such prestige that they surpass their function, transforming from a tool that serves him to an authority that judges him.

The problem does not begin when we create the custom, but when the custom creates us. Customs in their origin are not a flaw; they are the memory of societies and the hallmark of their identity, but they remain a human endeavor open to revision. Values, however, are deeper than customs because they are based on intentions, not images, and on meanings, not appearances.

A value is measured not by the forms it imposes, but by the impact it leaves. The imbalance begins when we grant a custom the sanctity of a value, believing that revisiting it is a departure from heritage, even though true loyalty to heritage lies in preserving its spirit, not in sanctifying everything associated with it.

Then the question is no longer 'What gives meaning?' but becomes 'What will people say?' When questions fall silent, customs take over the task of answering. Hospitality is perhaps the clearest example.

For Arabs, hospitality was a virtue before it was a table. The guest would knock at the door without an appointment, finding welcome before food, and warmth before hospitality. The host offered what he had, not to be seen, but to honor. Hospitality was not measured by the number of sacrifices or the size of feasts, but by the quality of the encounter, the kindness of spirit, and the guest's feeling of being among his own. Hospitality is not what fills tables, but what fills hearts.

Then the picture changed; affectation entered through the door of chivalry, extravagance through generosity, and waste through reputation, until some people no longer asked 'Have I honored my guest?' but 'Have I impressed people?' Hospitality did not change... what changed was our understanding of it. Values are not worn out by their opponents as much as by their admirers when they burden them with what is not of them. Hospitality is but an example of a broader ailment.

Marriage, which was ordained for tranquility, we have burdened until some young people look at its costs before its meanings. Family ties, which Islam intended as affection and mercy, we have reduced to occasions. Education, which was made a path to knowledge, has sometimes been overcome by the value of the certificate until knowledge almost hides behind it.

It is the same problem: when means turn into ends, the things made to serve us become capable of leading us. The most dangerous thing that afflicts societies is not the presence of customs, but the absence of questioning them; customs rule not by their power, but by people's silence before them. And we are not outside society so that we may judge it.

We are society... we who give some customs their power when we reward exaggeration with admiration, link status to the size of spending, and bequeath to our children the fear of deviating from the norm more than we bequeath them the courage to think.

Therefore, reform does not mean demolishing heritage, but restoring balance: that customs remain in the service of values, not values in the service of customs. Societies do not lose their identity when they review their customs; they lose it when they fail to distinguish between their essence and their shells.

The greatest thing we bequeath to our children is not the details of our customs, but their ability to know what deserves to remain and what deserves to change. When everything returns to its proper place... hospitality becomes mercy, marriage becomes tranquility, family ties become affection, and life becomes closer to its purposes.

Only then... will our customs not judge us; for values will have reclaimed their right to be the judge... and the scale.