A trend encourages women to be 'selfish'... and links psychological stress to autoimmune diseases

A controversial slogan has spread on social media platforms calling on women to stop constantly sacrificing themselves, using a shocking phrase: 'Stop pleasing others... or you will develop an autoimmune disease' or 'Be selfish... or you will develop an autoimmune disease.'

Proponents of this idea base it on the notion that excessive people-pleasing causes chronic psychological stress that may negatively affect the body in the long term. Some users have even claimed that the constant pursuit of pleasing others is the main reason women develop autoimmune diseases.

They point to a known scientific fact: about 80 percent of those with autoimmune diseases are women, a phenomenon that has puzzled scientists for years, according to a report published by Everyday Health.

In response, some women are encouraged to prioritize their personal needs, not feel guilty when defending their rights, or refuse what exhausts them. Some even link this change to improvements in certain health issues, such as eczema.

But doctors emphasize that the relationship between chronic stress and autoimmune diseases is far more complex than what these posts suggest.

Why did this idea spread?

It is difficult to pinpoint the source of this trend, but it reflects many women's dissatisfaction with social pressures pushing them to be perpetually kind and prioritize others' needs over their own, regardless of the psychological or physical cost.

Dr. Rachel Gabelman, a clinical psychologist at the Wexner Medical Center at Ohio State University, explains that many girls are raised with social messages encouraging calmness, obedience, and seeking others' approval.

She adds that this upbringing makes many women, over time, more inclined to avoid confrontation or assert what they truly need.

The tendency to please others accompanies women into adulthood

Research indicates that women are more likely than men to try to please others.

Dr. Aaron Brennen, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Vanderbilt University, says that a person who habitually neglects their own needs for the sake of others often experiences high levels of stress.

He adds that the body is affected by psychological stress and trauma over time, as their effects gradually accumulate.

Because women are more susceptible to autoimmune diseases, some have attempted to link these two phenomena.

Do studies support this hypothesis?

Some social media users have cited scientific studies to support their view.

In one study published in 2021, the research included 290 women and assessed their tendency to suppress emotions or avoid expressing anger, then compared it to several health indicators.

The results showed that women who habitually suppressed their emotions were more likely to develop carotid artery atherosclerosis, a disease not classified as a traditional autoimmune disease but similar in some aspects.

Another large study published in 2018 showed that people with stress-related disorders were more likely to later be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, indicating a potential link between stress and these diseases.

'The relationship is not that simple'

Despite these findings, doctors affirm that claiming the tendency to please others causes autoimmune diseases is an exaggerated conclusion.

Dr. Stanley Schwartz, head of the Division of Allergy, Immunology, and Rheumatology at the University at Buffalo, says stress does affect the immune system, but autoimmune diseases usually result from a complex interaction of genetic, environmental, and other factors not yet fully understood.

Dr. Gabelman warns that this type of messaging may lead women to feel guilty, as if they are responsible for their illness, stressing that this is scientifically incorrect.

Dr. Brennen also objects to using demeaning descriptions for women who express their opinions or defend their rights, as it perpetuates outdated stereotypes.

What is wrong with this trend?

Despite the exaggerations, experts believe the core message of this trend has some truth.

Excessive self-sacrifice is not healthy, either psychologically or physically.

Dr. Brennen emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries in relationships and clearly expressing what one can and cannot handle.

He recommends regular self-reflection, asking whether one feels resentful for constantly agreeing to meet others' requests at the expense of one's own needs.

Conclusion

Chronic stress is indeed linked to an increased risk of several diseases, including some autoimmune diseases, but doctors stress that it is not the only factor, and there is no scientific evidence proving that the tendency to please others is the direct cause of these diseases.

Experts emphasize that defending personal needs and setting healthy boundaries does not mean acting aggressively or harshly, but rather represents an essential part of self-care and maintaining mental and physical health.