Trend Encourages Women to Be 'Selfish'... Links Psychological Stress to Autoimmune Diseases

A controversial slogan spread on social media platforms urging women to stop constantly sacrificing themselves, using a shocking phrase: 'Stop pleasing others... or you will develop an autoimmune disease' or 'Be selfish... or you will develop an autoimmune disease.'

Proponents of this idea base it on the notion that excessive people-pleasing causes chronic psychological stress that may negatively affect the body in the long term. Some users even went as far as claiming that the constant pursuit of pleasing others is the main reason women develop autoimmune diseases.

They point to a well-known scientific fact that about 80% of people with autoimmune diseases are women, a phenomenon that has puzzled scientists for years, according to a report published by Everyday Health.

In contrast, some women are encouraged to prioritize their personal needs, not feel guilty when defending their rights or refusing what exhausts them, and some even link this change to improvements in certain health issues, such as eczema.

But doctors confirm that the relationship between chronic stress and autoimmune diseases is much more complex than what these posts promote.

Why did this idea spread?

It is difficult to identify the source of this trend, but it reflects the dissatisfaction of many women with social pressures that push them to be constantly kind and prioritize others' needs over their own, regardless of the psychological or physical cost.

Dr. Rachel Gabelman, a clinical psychologist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, explains that many girls are raised with social messages that encourage them to be calm, obedient, and seek to please others.

She adds that this upbringing makes many women, over time, more inclined to avoid confrontation or demand what they actually need.

The tendency to please others accompanies women into adulthood.

Research indicates that women are more inclined than men to try to please others.

Dr. Aaron Brennen, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Vanderbilt University, says that a person who gets used to neglecting their own needs for others often experiences high levels of stress.

He adds that the body is affected by psychological stress and trauma over time, as their effects accumulate gradually.

Because women are more susceptible to autoimmune diseases, some have tried to link these two phenomena.

Do studies support this hypothesis?

Some social media users cited scientific studies to support their view.

In one study published in 2021, the research included 290 women and assessed their tendency to suppress emotions or avoid expressing anger, then compared that to several health indicators.

The results showed that women who habitually suppressed their emotions were more likely to develop carotid artery atherosclerosis, a disease not considered a classic autoimmune disease but similar in some aspects.

A large study published in 2018 also showed that individuals with stress-related disorders were more likely later to be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, indicating a potential link between stress and these diseases.

'The relationship is not that simple'

Despite these findings, doctors emphasize that saying the tendency to please others causes autoimmune diseases is an exaggerated conclusion.

Dr. Stanley Schwartz, head of the Division of Allergy, Immunology and Rheumatology at the University at Buffalo, says stress does affect the immune system, but autoimmune diseases typically result from a complex interaction between genetic factors, environmental factors, and other factors that are not yet fully understood.

Dr. Gabelman warns that this type of message may lead women to feel guilty, as if they are responsible for their illness, stressing that this is scientifically incorrect.

Dr. Brennen also objects to the use of derogatory descriptions for women who express their opinions or defend their rights, as it perpetuates outdated stereotypes.

What is right about this trend?

Despite the exaggerations, experts believe that the core message of this trend has a valid aspect.

Excessive self-sacrifice is not healthy, whether psychologically or physically.

Dr. Brennen emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries in relationships and clearly expressing what a person can do and what they cannot endure.

He advises regularly checking in with oneself and questioning whether the person feels resentment because they constantly agree to meet others' requests at the expense of their own needs.

Conclusion

Chronic stress is indeed linked to an increased risk of several diseases, including some autoimmune diseases, but doctors confirm it is not the only factor, and there is no scientific evidence proving that the tendency to please others is a direct cause of these diseases.

Experts stress that defending personal needs and setting healthy boundaries does not mean acting aggressively or harshly, but rather are essential parts of self-care and maintaining mental and physical health.