A trend encouraging women to be 'selfish'... linking psychological stress with autoimmune diseases

A controversial slogan has spread on social media platforms, calling on women to stop constantly sacrificing themselves, using a shocking phrase: "Stop pleasing others... or you will get an autoimmune disease" or "Be selfish... or you will get an autoimmune disease."

Proponents of this idea rely on the notion that excessive people-pleasing causes chronic psychological stress that may negatively affect the body in the long term. Some users went so far as to claim that constantly seeking to please others is the main reason women develop autoimmune diseases.

They point to a well-known scientific fact: about 80 percent of people with autoimmune diseases are women, a phenomenon that has puzzled scientists for years, according to a report published by Everyday Health.

In contrast, some women encourage prioritizing their own needs, not feeling guilty when defending their rights, or refusing what exhausts them. Some even link this change to improvements in health issues such as eczema.

But doctors emphasize that the relationship between chronic stress and autoimmune diseases is far more complex than what these posts promote.

Why did this idea spread?

It is difficult to pinpoint the origin of this trend, but it reflects many women's dissatisfaction with social pressures that push them to be perpetually kind and prioritize others' needs over their own, regardless of the psychological or physical cost.

Dr. Rachel Gabelman, a clinical psychologist at the Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center, explains that many girls are raised with social messages encouraging them to be quiet, obedient, and seek others' approval.

She adds that this upbringing makes many women, over time, more inclined to avoid confrontation or demand what they actually need.

The tendency to please others accompanies women into adulthood

Research indicates that women are more likely than men to try to please others.

Dr. Aaron Brennen, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Vanderbilt University, says that a person who habitually neglects their own needs for others often experiences high levels of stress.

He adds that the body is affected by psychological stress and trauma over time, as their effects accumulate gradually.

And because women are more susceptible to autoimmune diseases, some have tried to link these two phenomena.

Do studies support this hypothesis?

Some social media users cited scientific studies to support their view.

In one study published in 2021, the research involved 290 women and assessed their tendency to suppress emotions or avoid expressing anger, then compared that to several health indicators.

The results showed that women who habitually suppressed their emotions were more likely to develop carotid artery atherosclerosis, a disease that is not a classic autoimmune disease but shares some similarities.

A large study published in 2018 also showed that people suffering from stress-related disorders were more likely to later be diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, suggesting a potential link between stress and these diseases.

'The relationship is not that simple'

Despite these findings, doctors emphasize that claiming the tendency to please others causes autoimmune diseases is an exaggerated conclusion.

Dr. Stanley Schwartz, chief of the division of allergy, immunology and rheumatology at the University at Buffalo, says stress does affect the immune system, but autoimmune diseases usually result from a complex interaction of genetic, environmental, and other factors that are still not fully understood.

Dr. Gabelman warns that this type of message may make women feel guilty, as if they are responsible for their illness, stressing that this is scientifically unfounded.

Dr. Brennen also objects to using derogatory descriptions for women who express their opinions or defend their rights, as it reinforces old stereotypes.

What is the takeaway from this trend?

Despite the exaggerations, experts believe the core message of this trend has some truth.

Excessive self-sacrifice is unhealthy, both psychologically and physically.

Dr. Brennen emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries in relationships and clearly stating what one can and cannot handle.

He advises regular self-reflection, asking whether one feels resentful because they constantly agree to meet others' requests at the expense of their own needs.

Conclusion

Chronic stress is indeed associated with an increased risk of several diseases, including some autoimmune diseases, but doctors stress that it is not the only factor, and there is no scientific evidence proving that the tendency to please others is the direct cause of these diseases.

Experts stress that defending personal needs and setting healthy boundaries does not mean acting aggressively or harshly; rather, they are an essential part of self-care and maintaining mental and physical health.