AI tools have become part of daily life for millions, but how we interact with them may have unforeseen consequences. As many get used to giving direct commands to AI programs without using polite phrases like 'please' and 'thank you,' researchers warn that this behavior could gradually affect the way we communicate with others, impacting levels of politeness and cooperation in society.

A report published on Psychology Today reviews what psychology and studies say about the relationship between AI use and declining polite behavior, and why communication experts believe simple words like 'please' and 'thank you' may be more important than we think.

Why is politeness important?

Mary Ellen McDonald, PhD, Professor Emerita in the Department of Psychology and the Language Sciences program at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, believes that people are put off by a rude person because they avoid the effort others make to show respect and good manners.

Politeness is not just polite words; it plays a fundamental role in sustaining cooperation in society, as individuals interact daily with strangers outside their circle of family and friends, according to McDonald.

She says, 'When a person speaks politely, they send a message that they are ready to cooperate and in turn deserve the cooperation of others, whether it involves holding an elevator door, making way for someone else, or offering help when an accident occurs.'

From this perspective, politeness is one of the pillars that maintain the cohesion of social relationships, according to her.

Why are we ruder with AI?

If politeness is so important, why do we abandon it when addressing AI?

The reason, according to McDonald, is that AI assistants do not need politeness signals to cooperate.

Moreover, speaking itself requires mental effort, so dropping polite words makes communication faster and easier.

In fact, some studies indicate that using direct commands with AI systems sometimes yields better results than polite requests.

Does this rudeness transfer to our interactions with humans?

Despite the practical advantages of this style, McDonald warns that the way we address AI might influence our manner with others.

McDonald notes that scientific evidence is still limited, but there are reasons to take this possibility seriously.

First: How we speak today affects how we speak tomorrow.

When we turn our thoughts into speech or writing, the brain tends to reuse words and structures it is accustomed to.

This saves mental effort and makes communication faster.

Therefore, getting used to issuing direct commands to AI may gradually seep into our daily conversations with humans.

Second: Speech patterns transfer between groups.

Some may think that people can easily separate how they speak to AI from how they speak to friends or colleagues. But research indicates that this separation is not complete.

McDonald gives an example of university students who over time adopt a new way of speaking at university, then unintentionally transfer it to their families when returning home, appearing different or more formal, which may cause misunderstandings or negative feelings.

This means that the style of addressing AI may in turn transfer to human interactions.

Third: Companion chatbots may promote selfishness.

The problem is not limited to smart assistants that execute commands.

Chatbots designed to be a 'companion' for the user, such as social AI applications, encourage the user to continuously talk about themselves, with no need for balanced dialogue as happens between humans.

McDonald believes that this pattern may push some users to adopt a more self-centered style in their conversations with others, which contradicts the rules of natural dialogue based on sharing and exchange.

In fact, some users of these applications have reported that they have become less interested in talking with humans because talking to a robot does not require considering the other party or sharing conversational time.

Should we worry?

According to McDonald, the impact of AI on the job market or thinking styles receives wide attention, but its potential impact on politeness is no less important.

She says, 'Politeness, in the end, is not just a simple social behavior, but a fundamental element in building trust and cooperation among people.'

She adds that societies already face several challenges affecting the level of civility and mutual respect, such as political polarization, declining face-to-face communication, and widening social gaps.

In this context, getting used to rude communication with AI may become an additional factor that gradually pushes people away from the values of cooperation and courtesy that any society needs to maintain its cohesion.

Read also